Recently I watched a video where mums ‘aired’ their bad habits. Or more specifically described the type of mothers they believed they were. Unfortunately it was rather negative.
What was the number one thing mums said they struggle with? (Can you guess??)
I was so surprised to hear how basically every mother said this! Isn’t it so true though, do you think of yourself as impatient sometimes?
What can you do?
Firstly, pray for patience.
Secondly, realise that God may not just give you patience, He will give you opportunities to be patient. Then in those moments, you must rely on His grace.
You may have thought of yourself as a patient person before you became a mother. Ah! how children stretch us and force us to grow! Thankfully you have God on your side, so it is time to reclaim your patience! And create a peaceful happy home.
Here are 3 things you can do, that all begin with patience.
1. STOP YELLING
Let’s take a step back and look at all the times we shout or yell. Have you ever shouted this at your children? “EVERYBODY STOP YELLING!” Haha yeah, me too. But its not just this, sometimes we yell to summon our children.. “DINNER”S READY” … “I SAID DINNER”S READY!!!” “EVERYBODY COME HERE!!” Not to mention, all the times we yell in anger or frustration at our children, or even our husband. Yelling is fruitless. It makes you stressed and your family tense and on edge.
Recognise the difference between being firm with your children – and yelling in frustration and ‘losing it.’ This is a challenge for all of us, but there is no reason why we shouldn’t strive for it. Be clear, be proactive. It will make you feel more at peace and it will create a peaceful living environment for all.
The next time you would like to summon your child, try stopping what you are doing, finding them and asking them face to face. You may be surprised with what you will find. I tried this the other day and was greeted with smiling faces eager to show me all about the game they were playing. They had been so absorbed in it! After listening to them, I told them what I had been doing, and that it was time for lunch. It was a much more peaceful exchange for all of us.
2. SLOW DOWN MUMMA
Mother’s have an incredible ability to multitask. You already know this, right? I guarantee you are doing at least one other thing while reading this article. Eating lunch? Feeding your baby perhaps.
Some days, your mind can be like a whirl wind; You’re thinking about when to hang out the washing, what are you making for dinner, when was the last time you vacuumed the kids rooms. Meanwhile, you’re washing dishes while consoling your child about the scratch on their pinky.
There is always something to think about! …What do you need do?
Remember the simplicity of being a child. And the beautiful simplicity of your child.
How can we be more present with them?
For most children, all they are thinking about is the present. “Can you read me this book?” “Can we go to the park?” “Mummy what’s that noise?”
Stop. Slow down.
Don’t get too caught up with ‘getting things done’ and rushing around, when you do this you run the risk of bulldozing your children. “Parents do not drive your children to resentment.”
Respect their simplicity, slow down and.. listen patiently.
Take the time to explain your expectations clearly and in a way they understand, speak slowly and lovingly. Take the time to sit down and just play with your child. Put aside the buzzing list of ‘to-do’s’ circulating in your head (and offering up the suffering required to do that), read a book, stroke their hair, talk about their day (and yours). Make it a priority, schedule it into your day, it is worth it. The more you do this with them, the less you’ll feel like a drill sergeant and more like a confidant, and it will give them a chance to see the lovely person you are.
The old saying goes “a tidy house a tidy mind.”
You don’t have to have kids for very long to know the never ending battle of keeping a tidy home!
While organisation and working as a team are crucial to staying on top of the house and chores, sometimes the best this is to just reduce the “stuff” you own.
A few ways to reduce the “stuff” and clear some space for peace and serenity.
a) Reduce the stuff you can see:
This is a number #1 priority for me to keep that ‘tidy feel’ in my home, keep bench tops, tables, coffee tables, TV units etc *clutter free zones* – As humans we have this need to fill voids, and when you see a clear bench its so easy to just put stuff there and let it pile up. Don’t. Your home will feel much cleaner, more open and more peaceful, by keeping these spaces clear.
b) Reduce the stuff you need to tidy
In your kids bedrooms, you don’t need to have every toy out all the time. Even though they go through phases of which are their favourites – somehow they all end up on the floor anyway! This can become quite overwhelming for them (or frustrating for you) to tidy everyday. Grab two garbage bags, one for storage and one for donation and get to work clearing out!
c) Think before you buy
After you are finished de-cluttering yours and your children’s possessions, think twice before you start filling those shelves. Start adopting the phrases “Do I really need this?” And avoid impluse purchases. Force yourself to walk out of the store, and only come back if you really need it. Better yet, think of different outings you can do rather than “going to the shops.” Packing a lunch and walking to the park or local gardens may prove to be a much more fruitful experience.
Watch your own mood, your husbands and your children’s change by having a clutter free home! I let the kids room ‘go’ for a little too long and I could see they had become unsettled. It was amazing the difference I noticed in them after we spent morning decluttering and cleaning their room. We all felt freasher and more at peace.
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So here are just a few ways to help bring peace into your home. Be proactive, take responsibility for creating peace in your home. You are the home maker after all and it’s important work.
To come full circle, at the end of the video mentioned above, each of the children had a chance to share what they thought of their mothers. And do you know what? They were overflowing with love and compliments! Not a bad word was spoken. So give yourself a pat on the back, you are doing a great job. And the fact that you are reading this shows you really care about being a good mother.
About the Author: Mother of 4 beautiful girls and a beautiful boy. Founder of the website and dedicated stay-at-home-mum. "My inspiration for the website was to create a platform for Catholic Mums to be able to connect with each other for support and to facilitate growth. I wanted a safe place to share thoughts on different family issues, with an underlying Catholic value system."