Fumbling With Fertility


There have been two times in my life where I’ve really reflected on the gift of children and the profound sadness of not being able to conceive.

The first time was about a month before my wedding. I visited a local GP to ask a few questions about my ever irregular cycles and other hormonal symptoms, to be erroneously diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome and told, in no uncertain terms, that I would probably not conceive any children.


The second time has been more recently when I began to wonder if my cycles post Master 1 were anovulatory – where during the course of your cycle you don’t actually ovulate despite going through the motions.

I must admit that I chart every day and it has become an ingrained habit so that, even if we are not using NFP, I am still making note of my cycles. In the past this has been very helpful and I was able to detect a couple of benign cysts which altered a couple of my cycles, and I’ve been able to speak to any specialists I’ve seen with a very clear and precise picture of my fertility. I’ve even had an improved accuracy predicting birth dates hitting Miss 3 on the actual day and Master 1 the day after!

This regular charting has been so beneficial and will be in times to come. I encourage you to do the same so that if any alarming changes occur you’ll be on top of it and able to take any steps necessary.

As I reflect on my anovulatory cycles I also have more to consider. In more recent years it has become apparent that the women in my family have suffered from fertility related problems and early menopause. My mother was about 41 when menopause came knocking on her door, but for other relatives it was even earlier. My sister told me recently of one cousin in my mother’s generation who married young and was fertile for just the first nine years of her marriage!


This is a scary prospect. I’m only 30 and I’ve been blessed with four children already so it does seem greedy to want more, but I think I am just coming to terms with the fact that fertility is unpredictable and, ultimately, finite. Other women come to this realisation before they’ve had children and for some, it’s too late.

There is still hope for me, my mother conceived her last child at 36, but perhaps the real problem here is that I had taken for granted how easily we conceived our children and my obstetrician’s diagnosis that I have ‘lots of eggs’. I felt certain that we would be blessed with more children because we are young and, generally speaking, healthy.

Fertility should never be taken for granted and yet, we do just that.

Today, take the time to meditate on the blessing of your children, to thank God for entrusting your children to you, and to pray for the many women who struggle to conceive and long for a baby.


Filed Under: Family LifeFeaturedPregnancy

About the Author: Emily is a former ACPA award winning editor and journalist turned stay at home mum and blogger. She lives on a farm in regional NSW with her husband and their five children where she spends the time she should be doing housework reading books and writing posts.

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