Men…Women, Are We So Different?

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I asked my husband over dinner, what is the difference between you and me? As in between men and women? He quite readily came up with a list!

He said that men are…

  • More visual
  • More selfish
  • Stronger
  • They don’t like to share their feelings
  • They communicate via doing things (side by side not face to face)
  • They play differently with their kids
  • They cannot function on an empty stomach!

No doubt there are differences between men and women but how do we use these differences to create a strong, happy marriage?

First and foremost, we need unity in our marriage, meaning we need to understand our spouse. We are never going to truly understand our husband one hundred per cent. We are made to complement one another, not challenge or compete with one another. We need to always be working as a team.

Women Are More Sensitive  

Is this a bad thing? Not at all.

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Because we are more sensitive, we are also more affectionate, we tend to have a softer touch. This also means that we can be more emotional, and one danger is that we can fall into being overly sensitive with our husbands.

Perhaps to think, are we often a little too touchy, taking everything so personally? Do we tend to get hurt over a little comment which wasn’t intended to hurt us?

Here’s a challenge:  Ask God to give you one humiliation each day which you will gladly accept for Him. For example, tolerating a comment from your husband which hurts you a little but you choose to remain silent. I don’t know about you, but doing something like this, though it may seem small, really helps me to fight against my pride.

Women Give Nonstop

Women tend to give of themselves nonstop to their family and expect very little time for themselves. You may find that hubby from time to time will just need some alone time, to catch up on jobs or just enjoy a good movie.

Sometimes when you find that your husband becomes overwhelmed with the children, it is good to remember that we have thousands more hours of practice at the job of taking care of the kids than they do. So when he gets impatient, try to be understanding.

When we serve our family, we serve because we love, not simply because we have to. If we serve as a servant would, we will do it resentfully. Work will become impossibly tedious and life very difficult. When we becomes gloomy, our whole family suffers. It is the mother that unites her whole family.

When a mother brings down the tone of the house, the environment, no one is happy. So,because of this, we try never to lose our cheerfulness, no matter how tired we are or overwhelmed with an issue. In such moments, we trust even more in God asking Him to carry us on.

Men Are Practical

Even though they may not say anything, your husbands do appreciate that womanly touch.

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The decorations in the home. The dinner presented well. The tidiness of the home. If not, he is living in a house not a home. Anyone can live in a house but people want to live in a home. Why? In a home there is always that touch of love added to the details of little things. There is affection, there is warmth. Treat him with great affection every day.

Never underestimate an act of kindness towards your husband, even if it is in the smallest of details. It is in the details where the love is in a marriage. To stop and think from time to time…

  • How do you treat him when he gets home from work?
  • How do you prepare meals?
  • Do you always make life all practical? Sometimes its good to remember that it is not always about the money or whether we need an item… if you like roses, tell hubby! It is in self-giving that people become generous. You need to allow your husbands to give to you, to love you and to be generous with you. 

Different Temperaments

You and your husband are likely going to have slightly or completely different temperaments. Isnt it funny that perhaps something that attracted you to him (which was perhaps the opposite of yourself) when you were dating, may now irritate or annoy you in your marriage!

It is wonderful that a couple are blessed with different personalities and traits. THIS is how we complement each other and help one another grow in marriage. I believe that true love, even more than giving of yourself is practicing understanding with him.

Don’t get angry over those little things which do not matter. Once again, grab those opportunities to fall more in love with God and with your husband. When you love your husband, when you are generous with him, you are loving God directly.

Often, it may appear as if the other person never hears you. Consider that he may have failed on the tenth time and succeeded nine times before! If you notice his wet bath towel on the floor, stop and think that he may actually be putting in the effort to hang it up nine times before, but perhaps you did not acknowledge this.

Men Are More Visual

Keep yourself attractive for your husband. How important this is! Try to look good and a little fresher before your husband gets home from work. This requires no more than two minutes of your time. When I add that little detail, I am aware that my husband always notices! For example, if I put on a little perfume before he gets home, he will make a comment such as “Oooo…someone smells nice!”

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Men Like To Problem Solve

This is just their nature I think! Often us women just need a great big hug. Whether the baby has not slept through the night, the kids have been tantruming, most situations can be fixed with a hug and some words of reassurance. 

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Instead, you may find that in moments like these hubby wants to fix the situation for you. It is important to tell your husband you needs. Eg– “I just need a hug please” not a solution for why the baby is waking through the night! 

Finally the most important thing to remember is that marriage is a sacrament and to pray a lot for our husbands. In any moment, we have been given a specific grace to endure whatever life brings. Ultimately no matter what you are going though, God is still the one who is going to see us through it all and ensure we have a happy marriage!    

 

 

Filed Under: MarriagePersonal Growth

About the Author: Mother of 6 children. 4 boys and 2 girls. A proud stay-at-home-mum and Co-founder of the website. Jill has a strong Catholic faith. "I believe it's really important to have a support network for mums to connect and learn from each other." She also has a Degree in Primary Teaching from Melbourne University.

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