A Mother’s Time Is Never Her Own

The following quote from Fr Rolheiser OMI sums up the reality we mothers experience on a daily basis:

“For years, while raising children, a mother’s time is never her own, her own needs have to be kept in second place, and every time she turns around a hand is reaching out and demanding something. Hence, a mother raising children, perhaps in a more privileged way even than a professional contemplative, is forced, almost against her will, to constantly stretch her heart.”

How stretched does your heart feel at this moment in time?

Being a mother is essentially a Mary role first, and a Martha role second. Yet we often feel in opposition to that, attributing to each day a list of things we must get done.

A to-do list might make your day feel more productive but one ‘call’ from your children and productivity jets out the window never to be seen again.

Constantly pulled at and reached for, a mother is always in demand. Though she’d like to run for cover and hide in her room to snatch some quiet moments, and a little bit of sanity, her children need her.

Motherhood then, forces us to move beyond the pragmatic “what would Jesus do” approach to life and instead embrace the “how can I love Christ in this person?”


While the demands of chores will be ever present, how you incorporate those into your day is important. Blocking out an hour or two to accomplish jobs around the house is really only going to happen when your children are napping – if they haven’t already cut that out – and let’s face it, sometimes you actually need that time to sit quietly and recharge or maybe to achieve some personal prayer time.

Including your children in some of the chores, as is age appropriate, is dually rewarding. You’re helping them learn an important skill whilst still getting the chore done. However it does often take longer.

At the end of the day, you’ll make it work, because you know your family better than anyone else.

You will continue to stretch your heart, which at its easiest is super flexible, and at its worst is tensed and ready to snap.

Yes, there will be rough days.

And at times you will feel broken.

Take solace in knowing that you are being made holy. God is humbling you, as you stretch your heart, and bending your will to His, shaping you into a better version of yourself.

Accept His work; the privilege of a contemplative pruning, in the confines of your house.

It may not feel like a privilege now. But it will.

And in Heaven you can get that respite and rest you’re dreaming of now.






Filed Under: FeaturedJust For MumPersonal Growth

About the Author: Emily is a former ACPA award winning editor and journalist turned stay at home mum and blogger. She lives on a farm in regional NSW with her husband and their five children where she spends the time she should be doing housework reading books and writing posts.

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