Sometimes Hubby Gets It Wrong

 

It is a truth universally acknowledged by wives all over the world that husbands often get it wrong. And the truth is, that’s ok.

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Women and men might be equal but they are complimentary; they have different modes of thinking, doing and interacting. We get into trouble, as wives, when we expect our husbands to be something they are not.

Like…

  • Romantic – I mean, would it kill him to bring a small gift of flowers or chocolates home sometimes? Probably not, but in his mind he’s already wooed and won the love of his life, flowers are now reserved for birthdays or wedding anniversaries right?
  • Good at remembering anniversaries – when we ordered our wedding rings I had the date of our nuptials engraved on the inside of the bands. This is great, hubby knows when our anniversary is, but does that mean he has the forethought to organise something to celebrate the day? Not exactly.
  • Maternal – I often chat to other mums about how when we attend parties or BBQs etc, our husbands seem to settle in and relax straight away while the wives are constantly counting heads, watching out for children and panicking every once in a while because they can’t see one of their offspring. We wives have already done a risk assessment of the venue and keep track of the kids to make sure they eat, keep their hats on and play nice with the other children. Meanwhile hubby is knocking back a second beer and talking about the football like a single unattached man.
  • Nurturing – when the baby or child cries they are often brought to us directly with a comment such as ‘He/she needs you.’ After an initial cuddle from Dad, Mum is the source of all nurturing and wound tending.
  • A female friend – we women love to chat and after a day at home with multiple offspring often all we want is to have a good debrief to a sympathetic friend about the day. Post work, hubby is generally not interested in our domestic problems just as we’re often too ragged to be sympathetic to his work ones.
  • Softer – Dads are often the disciplinarian and they tend to see things in a more black and white way. Kid’s behaviour is dealt with swiftly and very firmly; they don’t see extenuating circumstances or a change reaction like an overtired child throwing an out of character tantrum, they just see the bad behaviour.
  • A Housekeeper – wouldn’t this be amazing? But let’s face it, in my house at least, I don’t know about yours, hubby is like a fifth child when it comes to picking up after. This fact is something he delights in telling other people I might add!

But for all the things our husbands get wrong – they get a lot of things right too. Sometimes when we’re frazzled or worn out we tend to see only the less than pleasing elements of their character so it’s a good idea to remember that your husbands are:

  • Loyal – I know my hubby would back me in a fight. He’s in my corner and supports me without question.
  • In love – with us!
  • Funny – Dad humour? I don’t know if that’s a real thing but my kids think that their Daddy is funny (and more than a little bit silly).
  • Appreciative – they might not say much but our husbands are definitely appreciative of all of the work we do at home for them and for their children.
  • Rational – sometimes their advice is hard to swallow but generally speaking their decision making process isn’t clouded by emotion as ours is. They usually arrive at the best solution to a problem before we manage to get past our initial reaction.

So yes, my husband gets it wrong from time to time, but his heart is in the right place. And, truth be told, we get it wrong a fair bit too. Let’s cut each other some slack and focus on the good aspects of our spouses instead of bringing them down or dwelling on negative feelings.

Ultimately our goal is to get them to Heaven so let’s see the best in them and encourage them on their way to eternal life, and allow them to do the same for us!

 

Filed Under: Just For MumMarriagePersonal Growth

About the Author: Emily is a former ACPA award winning editor and journalist turned stay at home mum and blogger. She lives on a farm in regional NSW with her husband and their five children where she spends the time she should be doing housework reading books and writing posts.

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